Week 20 -What Scares You?

Hello.

Halloween was yesterday and last week I wrote an article for www.bizymoms.com that you may be interested in. This is an important topic to address when you are feeling stuck, or frustrated about the lack of good results you are getting. I will copy the article below but please go to check out this wonderful website when you have time. There is tons of great information!

Your Challenge: Read the article below and begin to think about what scares you and how it is holding you back. Then come up with at least 3 ways you can begin to make improvements.

What I'm working on: All of it! But in particular I think it's important to start small. Now that I have relocated I have a whole new community of people to meet and opportunities which is great but that it can create uncertainty because it's all brand new and there is so much that is unknown.

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What’s Holding You Back? How to Tackle Things that Scare You
By: Jenny Gallagher
Article Source: http://bizymoms.com/business



Halloween is a fun time to celebrate scary things but if fear is keeping you from moving forward in your career or life then read on. Fear in many cases is unwarranted and with focus, time and patience you can overcome your fears. Here are some common fears:

• Loss (a job, relationship, material items)
• Death
• Lack of Knowledge or Information
• Lack of connection with others (loneliness, isolation, alienation)
• Competition
• Public Speaking
• Failure
• Conflict
• Embarrassment

You may think it is impossible to not be afraid of something serious like death but in fact this helps to illustrate a very important point. While there are things that will happen in your life that will be a struggle it does not mean you need to be paralyzed by fear and ruin your life until then; and many times fear will actually attract what it is you are trying to avoid.

Let’s say for example you have applied for a promotion at work and just found out someone else with similar qualifications did as well. You may start to act differently; maybe you will try to get information from others or start to discredit their accomplishments in a way to feel superior. Both of these behaviors could get you into trouble and may even be the reason you don’t get the job.

Or let’s say you are in a new relationship. If this is something you have wanted for a while you may be more interested in being in a relationship then in being in the right relationship. You may behave in ways that make you seem insecure or needy, which could cause a premature end to the relationship.
People that want to avoid embarrassment actually avoid opportunity; people that want to avoid loss actually avoid gain; people that hate competition are usually competing and so on. To bring about positive change you need to face your fear. Here are a few ideas:

• Learn More – Information is power. The more you know the more comfortable you will become in that area. Find articles, read books, or ask others what they did in a similar situation. If you are hate public speaking maybe you could ask a good public speaker to share some words of wisdom. They may even share stories about when they first started which could help you to see the possibilities you can also achieve. Another benefit to learning is that you will learn new ideas and techniques that you can try. Remember - If you keep approaching a situation the same way you will probably keep getting the same results, so only do that when you like you are happy with your outcomes.

• Start Small – When confronting any fear start small. If you know you are afraid of competition then create a controlled situation to practice getting comfortable with; or maybe even enjoying competing. For example; play games you know you are not good at and get used to losing. Once you see it probably won’t kill you then you will have a healthier relationship with both sides of competition. Or let’s say your relationships always make you feel undervalued. Then practice role playing with a friend or hire a life or business coach. When you are fearful of a lack of connection, you may be acting in a way that is creating one. If you are afraid of losing anything (relationships, debates, promotions) then practice by giving stuff away. Learning how to donate your time, money and material items will not only help you confront your fear but will also help others in need.

• Celebrate Success – Reward yourself for any progress you make. Don’t play it down because it’s a big deal and the rewards will keep you moving forward.

• Practice – Continue to practice using different situations and make the challenges bigger as you move along. Many times fear will come back if you don’t routinely engage in practice. Remember to make it fun. If you’d like consider taking yoga classes. That way you can experience emotions in a safe and peaceful environment. You will find that what you are afraid of is the feeling, or emotion that comes about in a situation. You will realize that feeling inadequate, embarrassed, bored, or silly is temporary and that with awareness you can shift your thoughts to something about the pose that is positive and rewarding; even if it’s humility.

• Expect Setbacks – Even if they do not happen expect that they will, especially if you are working on something that is a big deal to you. You can spend years working on a trigger point (e.g., getting angry when you are embarrassed) and then suddenly out of nowhere you feel like you are back at square one. Don’t give up and whenever possible keep a sense of humor.

Remember that on Halloween you only get the treat for a trick. Set your intention as clearly as you would create the Halloween costume or decorations for your home and have some fun facing those things that scare you.

Article Source: http://bizymoms.com/business

Week 4 Challenge - Resolve

Hello.

It's funny that this week I wanted to talk about resolve. One of my goals for the 52Week Challenge is to sell the Florida condo and I arrived last night ready to accomplish a multitude of tasks. It will be close to a miracle to accomplish everything I want to but there are lots of hours in the day and I am ready for the challenge.

But when I walked into a very hot condo last night I realized I had a new to-do item. And as I sit here typing almost 24 hours later I am trying to relax and find my resolve. It would be easy to say "I'm hot and don't want to do any of this now". (Plus I also noticed two other things so my list is growing not shrinking).

How amazing that this is exactly what I wanted to talk about even before these things started happening. Sometimes when you get going with a goal you may feel like it is "2 steps forward and 1 step back". Resolve is a character I admire in people. It's that stick-to-it attitude. Throwing your arms in the air and giving up doesn't accomplish anything.

Frustration is to be expected. These are hurdles you can either leap over or find a creative way to get around. Don't succumb to frustration or fear (of success or failure). Be courageous and steadfast. I will paraphrase something I heard my brother Dan say the other day that I really admire. Sometimes its just standing up for what you want that is the win. Now that's resolve! That's the attitude that will move mountains and even if it doesn't you will look back and say "I showed up".

It's not just fear or frustration that can hold you back. It can also be something like guilt. Watch when you say "I should" or "I shouldn't". It usually means some guilt is sneaking in and that can pull you off track too. Stick with it! You can make adjustments as you navigate your way towards your goal; just don't give up.

The reason I wanted to talk about resolve now is because starting next week we will be getting into some challenges that will make you think a bit. Sometimes that can derail you all on its own. Let's get ready and toughen up a bit. Let's be confident and keep plugging away. You may even find it's kind of exciting.

The Challenge

Your challenge for this week is simple: Understand s*%# happens. And when it does breathe through it, shake it off, chill out, talk about it, write about it, laugh about it... You get the idea.

Have a great week and share with us by posting a comment.