A big reason that people are uncomfortable with change (even positive change) is because it is unknown and therefore makes us feel insecure. If there is something you are always wishing for (having more friends, a relationship, a better job, to be more physically fit...) and it has not manifested in your life then it is very likely you have some fear or uncertainty about the change, and that is what we will examine this week. Obviously it could be other things that are holding you back (real lack of interest, not understanding your needs, beliefs and so on...)
This insecurity can prevent you from manifesting your goal but even if something amazing did present itself it is likely that you will screw it up because you have not taken time to create a good foundation.
Abraham Maslow published "A Theory of Human Motivation" in 1943 and his theory states that basic needs must be satisfied before we can progress to our highest achievements. Therefore if you do not feel safe (secure) then it will be hard to move forward. In this week’s challenge ask yourself the following questions.
The Challenge:
1) Who would I have to be to live my perfect life? Most coaches will ask you this question at some point because it's important for you to understand who you are before you step into change. Like building a home you need a good foundation and while this may take more time you will build confidence along the way. Take baby steps and build on your successes. You can also refer back to past blog posts or hire a life coach. For example, if you feel unhealthy you may realize you would have to be a person that values good health and therefore you may start to eat healthier and enjoy some more movement in your day. From here your next step may be finding new friends or a better job.
2) What do I want most as an outcome from my success? Why do you want new friends or a new job? If it's just because you are lonely or want more money first dig deeper because you have not created enough clarity. Otherwise you may find you have new friends or a new job and still aren't happy.
3) How can you learn from past failures? Failures usually make us feel insecure but in fact these are our teachers. Look back and consider how to move forward more efficiently. Most importantly look for trends with past failures. Maybe there is some self-sabotage going on. For example; if you feel like you don't get the respect you deserve in a relationship or at work could it be that you are presenting yourself in a way to attract that?
What I'm working on:
Now that the book is done and I am moving into the promotion phase I realize a big shift is coming in my life. One where most of my work required me to be in my office to now having to be out in front of people doing talks, presentations, book signings, etc. Before stepping out I must prepare. What do I want to say and do? Personally I don't want to do a lot of book signings at book stores so I am coming up with other creative opportunities.
Have a great week and remember to share this blog with your friends, family and co-workers.
It certainly is comfortable to keep things the same. Even when I want something to change bad enough I'll still put it off. Always I ask if I'm willing to take a risk. The answer is usually, well maybe tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteComing to the end of the 52 week challenge is making me more aware that being present to daily opportunities that cause me to "live more simply" (my goal last year) is more valuable than my first notion which was "I'd like to get rid of my car by June 2011"). I don't think it's an excuse, just causes to think about my own footprint on this earth. I think I am more earth conscious and that is all I am asked to do, or BE.
Good question,"who would I have to be to live my perfect life?" Just be the best I can be.