I selected this topic because this past week was my 22nd wedding anniversary which got me to thinking about the importance of rituals in our lives.
Typically when we think of a ritual we think of a ceremony like a wedding. Before the ceremony there are two single individuals but afterwards there are many real changes that occur in the couples lives. Rituals are extremely important in creating an opportunity to change who we are. Afterwards we are changed.
Another example would be coming-of-age rituals that occur in many ways throughout the different cultures in our world. In this example, after the ritual the individual is no longer considered a child. Their responsibilities change from that day forward.
While we continue to grow and change over time, these rituals create a real marker. This type of distinction creates real transition. Without it we would not fully embrace the new identity.
The Challenge:
1) Think about your goal and create a list of the behaviors that align with success. For example if you want to be healthy maybe determine what your diet will consist of and your exercise schedule. If your goal is to save money then open a savings account and commit to making a deposit after each pay day. If you want positive changes in a relationship then think about what you can do to make those improvements (vs. what your partner should be doing) -- Maybe they will even do this with you if you make it fun and non-threatening. If you want someone new in your life commit to attending functions that will help you to meet new people.
2) Decide when you want to fully embrace these behaviors -- Actually set a date. Make it soon! Just allow enough time to prepare.
3) On that date have a ceremony to celebrate your the new you. At the very least dress up, journal, light a candle, buy something to remind you of the event like a new ring or have a party. Share your transition with a loved one. Declare who you are! Believe you have transformed.
4) From this point forward live in alignment with the new you.
What I'm working on:
With all the wonderful changes in my life over the last year or so I also realized that meant I had to do some letting go. Therefore my emotions have been like a roller coaster. I allowed for the 'grieving' and fear to pass and then began to feel a lifting of my spirit. I celebrated by sharing my turning point with those I love.
Usually "rite of passage", or a ritual that led to a real transformation in a person, may have been meant for the young, so he or she could prove to the self a certain maturity or readiness to take on an adult role in a community. Many persons, like me, never had an elder to lead through the maze of new ideals, risk taking,self challenge that ultimately would prove that readiness. The great thing about life is that the chance to have a "rite of passage" is being given now to many folks in their 6th, 7th decades of life. 8 years ago at age 64, when I got rid of most of my worldly posessions,packed up my car, and with cat, set out on an journey with no planned destination, this did not come about before several years of hard work, like spiritual direction, coaching, discernment practices and lots of prayer, and support from family and friends. But for me it was a rite of passage, a chance to overcome unnatural fears, to begin to trust in that inner strength that I had almost forgotten. Rituals have become an important part of my life and I believe teach the biggest lesson which may be the gift of "letting go all that no longer works in life" words of a very wise "old crone". Certainly even this commitment to the weekly blog has become a ritual. Gracias!
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